BOBBY PETRINO
Nice job, Bobby Petrino. You hire the 26 year old woman you are having an affair with to work in your football program but forget to tell your boss this. Then the two of you hop on your motor cycle and crash it and again you forgot to tell your boss she was with you. You claim you were only trying to protect your wife and kids who you happen to be cheating on and expect us to believe you. And now you tell the public you are going to cooperate fully with the University of Arkansas and the police investigations of your accident. Oh, and you just so happen to be the highest paid state employee in the state of Arkansas. Congratulations, you managed to supplant Bill Clinton as the all time Arkansas Government Employee Tool.
TOM BOONEN'S GREATNESS
Those of you who follow professional bike racing in Europe know that Tom Boonen is having a terrific spring season. Today he became only the second rider in history to win Paris-Roubaix for the fourth time and his margin of victory, 1:39, is the equivalent of a golfer winning the Masters by ten shots.
CANCERS
Doctors have discovered a rare form of cancer that appears to only strike young tall black men. Known as Bynum-Howard's Carcinoma, it is believed to primarily strike only those who play center for either the Los Angeles Lakers or Orlando Magic.
STAYING PUT FOR NOW
Kentucky basketball coach John Callipari says he is not interested in a coaching job in the NBA. Smart move. He can make just as much money coaching at the University of Kentucky and know that his earnings will be more than what his players receive under the table from boosters.
ANOTHER EX JOCK BROKE
Then there is week's broke athlete award winner, Warren Sapp, a player who made millions over the course of his playing career and who currently earns over 100 thousand dollars a month as an ex-jock. Times are tough on the guy who can't make his alimony or child support payments. Who is his ex, Octomom? And why the 240 pairs of Jordan athletic shoes? Warren only needs a left shoe to stick in his big mouth every time he opens it and says something unfounded and a right shoe to use to kick himself in the butt. I am sure if he asks, Jeremy Shockey will gladly help with a much needed ass kicking.
SHOULDN'T HE BE A SAINT?
So Tim Tebow is now the Easter messenger too. He might as well be the Easter Bunny for all the eggs he will drop in New York. I see him as the face of the NFL Network in three years when he is a former NFL quarterback.
DEFENSIVE COACH VERY OFFENSIVE
Gregg Williams, right, the former defensive coordinator for the New Orleans Saints accused of placing bounties on opposing players may never coach again in the NFL now that audio has been released of him instructing his players to injure several members of the San Francisco 49ers. It's not the end of the world for him. The audio tape will come in handy if he ever decides to apply to the mob as a hit man.
KICKIN' IT WITH TIGER
So Tiger Woods kicked his golf club out of frustration and now he faces discipline from PGA officials. Somehow I think it will pale in comparison to his last incident with a golf club. Of course, he was on the receiving end of his ex-wife's swings rather than dishing out the carnage.
